Nice Guys Finish Last...Period.

Yeah so I know the is like the Gazillionth time that some guy has written about how the Nice Guys that are a rarity in this world finish last. We always are the ones the are nice, polite, considerate and "sweet" as most girls say. But, the part that gets me is that we are everything they want in a guy, but, for some reason...we are like a "brother" or close friend rather than boyfriend material. A lot of times we often do stuff (that we have no idea we did) and yet the girl has no explanation as to why we are breaking up. It's like they can't figure out how to cope with a guy that so good to them and they aren't used to a guy being so caring. I personally had one of my ex's tell me this to my face...and I was like you broke up with me because I treaded you right?! I asked, What do you want? A guys to beat your ass and control you and make you suffer? She had no words, I have moved on since the disaster 2 years ago. I am now thinking about getting in to Psychology I want to understand humans, they confuse me. I once went out with a girl well before I was seriously into sexual activity she wanted it, But, I didn't know...I was use to people telling me they wanted something, then I soon learn about body language. I also found out she broke up with me because she didn't think I was courageous enough to throw her on a table or a wall an sexually destroy her. Had I know she really wanted it I would have lost my virginity a long time ago, However, I am actually happy I saved my virginity for for a special person. It meant a lot more and it was very fun...and I was as they say "Fully Developed" lol. But, the thing is good guys get left by women for a lot of simple reasons and that really sucks, girls try and make it out like the majority of guys are bad...you never will know until you get with them.

How to find a good guy...

Don't go by what they wear or what they do, how they talk or how many phones they got with "Bling" on them. Go by how well they treat you when you don't give them the sex they want when y'all first meet or go by how nice they still are to you when you refuse to let them feel you up in the club. I know guys, I'm one of them I know how we work and I know that will will try to be slick and pull sting or as so put in the hood, "Run Game" to try and get a sexy peice of as in our bed or by our sides, point is not ever guy is the same. Some are out there and really want to get to know you for who you are and some guys by you that ice cream or candy as a sign a friendship, not to get down in your pants. There will always be nice guys, the fact is now with the way society is women just have to search harder to find them.

Women Look for all the wrong things...

"Damn, dat nigga got a car, a J-O-B, and he sexy as hell..." No ladies sorry, I understand the the majority of you like those traits but, in the process of all the muscle walkin' by thats going to beat your ass soon as you hook up, it's not even worth it and in the midst of everything you let the guy that's may be, walkin', without a job, and not the best looking one one the block that would treat you right, walk right by.

At the library there is free internet.

As long as you have an ID to use the computers at the library or as long as you have your own laptop with wireless access capabilities you may use the internet, Thought your time on the computers owned by the library is limited to just an hour session and one 2 time per day, by bringing your own computer, you can stay on as long is you need to.

Yeah so it's almost 12am I'm chillin' and chattin' just had some KFC, boy that shit is expensive...I don't even really like chicken but, I didn't really want to walk all the way over to the to the other side of town for McDonalds. So I'm here now just letting my food digest, trying to figure out what my next move is going to be. I was sitting here watching the Santa Clara Vanguard Drum corps (look it up if you don't know), and they had an amazing show for 2006, those who have marching band in their system. I basically can't get marching out of my system, ever since I marched in High School, it's been in me. I am searching for people who still have it in them I wanna put a small corp together or just a team to march with. If interested Please Email me: Gmant007@gmail.com. I have too many Ideas, I can't sit still and it's driving me crazy. We could even use the band to generate money...of course we need to get the equipment to march with, come up with a show and drill but, If I find confident determined people, we can definitely do it! On top of that I have a ton of things I wanna do in many other Directions. But, I need structure and support.

Music Is My Life.

Yeah for those of you who know me very well, you know that music is my life, I live for music, I love to sing, play instruments or whatever has music involved, I'm there...I got this song stuck in my head and i keep playing it, it's called "Let My Love Open The Door" by Peter Townsend and the Who. It's a really great song, one thing i love so much about the 50's to the 70's though it was before my time, I really like a lot of what they did. Compare to what people did back them, today's music is garbage. People in the 70's and 80's Really put a lot into the shit they did, like Real Harmonizing, Actually Using Instruments and More. Don't get me wrong, there are some artists that still do the favor of putting together real music but, the majority of stuff now is all computerized, nobody sits down and play anymore except artists who want to stand out or be different and Rock bands. Every one else spends more time in the studio clicking a mouse than actually organizing stuff so it will sound good.

The Land of books.

yeah, so I'm hear at the library...hungry, tired, frustrated and among all the negativity floating in my head I'm somehow happy. I have a lot of thinking to do between now and this weekend, maybe I should just get up out of here sooner that I planned. I've been planning to sell my entire room, so everything will go bye bye. I need to get a Nikon D200 or D300 I refuse to work with anything else, i guess youcan say nothing else it up to my standards. But, as Brooke would say, "you need some type of balance" so I am trying to weigh things out, move with my earnings or bye the camera of my dreams???

I really have a lot of plans for really good money making, but, as we all know the US is set so that nothing gets off the ground without money...*SIGH*

Hey Guys, I just wanted to write another blog, Bored just came back from visiting my old school where I volunteer. I am responsible for the Marching Band at football games and such. I can't stand the director of the Dance Squad / Color guard She is so nice in public but, behind closed doors she is a serious bitch. I nearly cursed her out, but, I had to contain myself and be "professional" as we call it. But, I am still mad at yet, being the nice person I am, I let her get away with bloody murder, just because she is a teacher and if I "disrespect her" I cannot be a volunteer for my band that I love so much.
In other news, Ashley didn't call me as expected, so no trip to Harlem for me...I mean, I can go, but, the point was to go to chill and at this point there is really no point in me going.

UPDATE: While typing I found out she had a cold and was risking it but, today her body shut down.

Boredom wrapped in Twizzlers

Yeah, as you may have guessed, I am bored and I also want some Twizzlers. I need to really get myself together, I gotta go back to school, find a Job and Move out or away from here. I can Stand New Jersey anymore, a lot of you may not know that I have been planning to move away to the UK, preferably London, England...and a lot of people ask me, "why the UK?," "What's there but lots of rain and gloomy days?" Well...I don't know, i have always wanted to move there and I've made up my mind I am tired of ideas floating around in my head. I have begun to grab then and tie them to my to do list, I need some structure in my life, this is one more reason I'm single at the moment. I need to get myself together, before bask in others trails and tribulations.
The only way I will stay here in the US is if i get one of two jobs I am really set on doing. Well, actually 3...

1. Firefighter - Resaon: I've always wanted to be a "hero" (not a guitar hero) and save someone's life.

2. Electrical Lineman - Reason: I have always been facinated with electronics and electricity and I want to contribute my hand to this country in some way. (I know thats cheesy but, it's me.)

3. Technician - Reason: The job pays $23.96/hr. <--- Need I say more?



Last Resort? Yes, Like most of us I have one.

Should any plan I have chosen above not work, I will enlist in the military.


Yes, i said it military...when I was going through my depression and suicidal stages, I way planning to them but, one thing was stopping me...(so maybe it's good i didn't graduate just yet?)

They say behind every Strong man is a good woman...I 'm not sure if I let her go or not. We all learn from are mistakes so I just have to see how things play out. Besides, If we are meant to be together we will right?

Maybe, it could be me too...maybe I'm not ready for long-term relationship yet, (afterall I am still somewhat young), I don't know what's going on.

Let my love open the door (to your heart)

Im sad...I go out to hang with my friend Ashley, and then I don't know what I am doing after. Brooke and I are talking again...well, arguing. A lot is going on...maybe my depression never left, I think it was hiding behind my Happiness. While I was in my relationship, I was happy but, too much was going on.

Life Sucks

So, here goes...I had this new friend whom I really like and Her name was Cassandra, we'd met on Facebook and had been talking for a few days. I was really starting to gain some type of feeling that maybe we could be good friends or maybe let it lead to something else some day, but, out of the people that I met this past month, she was the person I was most interested in becoming friends with (not just because she live close to me) but, because we had a lot in common from just talking. We both love Singing and Music, We are both Goofy, Like being Different from "the crowd," and like talking to each other. So then I come on tonight and she talking to me on AIM and she goes, "can I talk to you later?" and I asked "is there something wrong?" She goes, "Kinda, I'll tell you later." So, I'm like Ok fine. Then, she comes on later like "Yeah, so I can't talk to you
because my mom was watching the thing about the MySpace Predators..." and I thought to myself..."SHIT! Not again, why must I suffer losing good friends for actions of those idiotic bastards who choose to use MySpace as a personal playground?!" I just really wish there was some type of way to prove that I am one of the few "good guys" that do exist out here on this thing we call the internet. Yet, Somehow or another I always get bashed because of others actions and Im sick of meeting great people, but, just because I have a Penis and Muscles I am automatically a "bad guy" and I end up losing a good friends. This isn't the only occasion on which this has happened, I am just really angry because like, I said...I really do like her she is such a cool person, I haven't had a friend in a while that I can say I had so much in common with. After all, I just got done telling her how much i love her voice. The girl can definitely sing no doubt, but, as far as I know...I am no longer a friend. I understand where her mom is coming from but, I wish she'd taken some time to find out about or give me some type of chance. I know that I am stranger, but...there if there is nothing more I can do...I guess it's my loss...


This is the part when a guy wished he were the opposite sex...this situation would have been a lot easier.


I hate society.

--Antoine.

SINGLE as of 10/26/2007

Single, *GASP*...yeah i know you guys are like "You of all people?!" Well, yeah unfortunately it had to be done. I have to move on, I couldn't do the constant depression anymore. I have to end it, she didn't want me to help her with any of her problems until the day of our break-up. What we had was special no doubt, but, we both have a lot we need to work on if we are ever going to be together for a long time. My mom's boyfriend goes, "Don't trade that 80 for a 20" and I simply laughed, I couldn't sit there and listen to him without laughing. He is one of the so called people full of Wisdom, so basically I get some good advice from him but, he is also one of those people that, get into people business and try to force a decision without knowing the full situation. I told him i will explain the situation but, I don't even feel like it. The girl I've spend a year and a half with is now a figment of my past and I am on my prowl for a new person to spend my life with. I need someone who is going to be positive and just as motivated as I am when it comes to getting things done! I can't really do the depressed Emo Situation and the "I never want to go out and do anything" stuff. I'm an adventurous Cancer, I need to get out and do things, I refuse to stay stuck in the house. A quote from a Horoscope sight I once visited said Cancers love to have a place to live but, never love to be there, and that is absolutely right about me! I love to get out and try to do things, hiking, road trips, traveling and more...I even planned to go skydiving. I am a very fun person...and I would love to have a girlfriend that wouldn't have a problem indulging with me in activities, a relationship shouldn't be all about sex and horniness. It needs to have substance, the couple needs to get out and have fun with people, movies, something...

I have officially given up on "faith" if someone comes along that matches the position then I guess we just gotta see where things go.

The Opening Act...

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

Right now I am writing this opening entry into this blog to give it some type of substance. Let you guys know what's going on with me, and give you some idea of what's going on with my Production Company and other projects I have going on. As you may or may not know, I have a Production Company called Katastrophic Pruduqkshunz, as of right now we are doing: Photography, Video, A/V Setup, Lighting and Small Shows (ex. Comedy Night, Small Concerts, etc.). I am going to post some videos on my YouTube™ Director's account to let you guys know what's going on with the "movement." Also, while we are on the subject, we have a new member of to team, she goes by the name Alexis Bélon. She has quite a few postings on YouTube™ already and once we finally plan things we will have a lot more up on there.


I hope to speak more with you later always check for updates!


Antoine M.